I have been the type of person to yo-yo in my diet ever since I started CrossFit back in December of 2008. I feel like finding a balance between training hard and consuming the right amount of food has been something I was trying to conquer without really fully grasping how important it is to have a good relationship and understanding of my body, as well as fully acknowledging that what works for one person will not work for another.
The first time I paid attention to my nutrition, it was with the mindset of “Drop the weight first, then focus on increasing calories and keeping it off”. Needless to say, I dropped all the weight I wanted to within six months, but the second I started consuming regular calories, I gained what I lost and some more, all the while still doing CrossFit.
Over the course of the past 10 years, I fell in love with the sport- it became the one constant in my life, even when my nutrition wasn’t up to par. More importantly, I was evolving and gaining so much strength and mental GRIT.
November of 2015, walking into Synergy, I weighed a whopping 265 lbs, and I could back squat 305lbs. I was miserable, it was awesome that I could lift as much as I could, but it was hard for me to move around,. I could barely keep up with my breathing during workouts and I was self-conscious. A part of me always knew that my size may contribute to how strong I was, but I was determined for it not to be.
I didn’t want to accept the fact that in order for me to continue being strong, meant that I had to stay big. That’s when I decided to seek a nutrition program that would help me focus on what my goals were, which was to drop weight (fat loss) all the while keeping up with my strength (mass maintenance). I knew going into this journey, it’d be a hard one… it’s almost impossible to do what I was trying to accomplish. I tried it anyway.
I think the biggest struggle when I started was that I had the pre-conceived idea in my mind, that 3 weeks of eating clean meant that the 5 years of completely neglecting nutrition would just go away. My coach told me from the beginning that really in all of this my biggest test will be patience. He was right.
It’s been 15 months of eating more food than I was comfortable with, training hard and sticking the course my coach was implementing. As time went on, it became clear to me that tracking my nutrition was not a diet, because it wasn’t just a phase in my life, it was becoming my life style.
This is where the magic happened for me- my coach and my community taught me that watching the number on the scale will not determine what I look like and how I move. Mass moves mass, and if I wanted to stay strong, I’d have to accept the fact that my weight on the scale will never reflect exactly what I look like. Every member in Synergy follows similar, yet different nutrition programs, we all have different approaches, but we all can relate to on another.
Talking to the coaches about my progress and frustrations, discussing my victories with friends that have seen me fight a long fight has made this journey more about far more than just weight loss. It’s made it about creating a life for me surrounded by positivity, challenges, and support.
As of date, I now weigh 190 lbs, and recently Pr’ed my backsquat at 330 lbs. But, I wouldn’t say that’s been my take away from this entire journey.
My take away is that challenging myself to do something that I once viewed as “almost impossible” turned into an experience of growth, not only mental, emotional and physical growth, but building relationships alongside others that are watching the growth take place. My friends within Synergy Community that lift and workout beside me push me to take it one step further, they became an army that had my back when I didn’t want to keep moving forward.